An Orphan's Treasure

I experienced some of the most precious, heart-wrenching, and blessing sights today while at the orphanage. First, a little girl who I had seen toting a draw string bag around all day. When she came up to me, I was curious to see what she was carrying around protecting so intently. What I found absolutely shattered my heart. The bag held a collection of her treasures: an empty neosporin tube, a random lid to a jar, a children's math book absolutely worn to shreds, pieces of cloth, and a cracked plastic cup. By American standards, this little girl was carrying around a bag full of junk. But to her, these were her most prized possessions that caused her to just beam with pride as I looked through them.
As the day continued and it became increasingly hotter, Roody came to deliver the team some cold bottles of water. As I sat there drinking the cold water, the kids around me were fighting to get their fingers on it to get even the slightest bit of the prespiration on the outside of the bottle to stick in their mouth for some refreshment. It's not as easy as going to the fridge to get a sip of water for these kids. They don't even get beverages during meals. When and if the water buckets are out, they get water. It just made me feel so unbelievably selfish to be sitting there with a cold bottle of water watching them long for even just a sip.
Now that everyone is sad a depressed, time for the joyful part of the day! I was sitting there holding sweet Julika when all of a sudden the kids just went absolutely nuts. They were running around, grinning ear to ear, and screaming what appeared to be very exciting news. Come to find out, Roody had just told them the big news about taking them to the beach tomorrow! I absolutely can NOT wait to see their faces, when many of them see the ocean for the very first time. If you read my post from last week, you'll understand just how significant of a blessing this is. For at least one afternoon, these children will not be prisoners inside the walls of that orphanage. For at least one afternoon, they'll get to experience one of God's wonderful creations and have a memory to hold tightly to. And finally, they'll be able to dream about the ocean, because they'll have seen it!

One Raw Heart

To be perfectly honest, over the course of the last week, I have been incredibly anxious to be home. I have loved every minute of it here, and haven't really been experiencing homesickness persay, but my heart just hasn't been in my work this past week.
Yesterday, as I was reading my Bible on the beach, God brought me to 2 Corinthians. Initially I was planning on picking up in 1 Corinthians where I had left off before, but without even my knowledge, God directed me to the passage he had in store for me that day by sending the wind to flip there for me. He brought me to this verse:
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16
The truth is, I had lost heart. My heart had drifted back home, and I had really and truly lost heart for the work set before me. In that moment, God truly began to renew my spirit as just minutes later a Haitian employee of the hotel walked by, took notice of my Bible, and struck up a conversation with me. He asked was I reading a Bible and if I was a Christian. I said yes to both in which he responded that it was a "very good" book that I was reading. After finding out he wasn't a believer, God blessed me with the opportunity to share that it is not merely a good book, but a true book. He expressed a desire to become a Christian and said he knew that he should, but "wasn't ready" for whatever reason. He said he didn't know the future but that maybe someday he would change his life. To that I told him that one thing I knew for sure about the future was that when my life ends or when Christ returns, that I will spend eternity with King Jesus and that he could know the same. He didn't accept, but it was a wonderful opportunity that God placed right in my lap and showed me just how ever present He is.
As I was making my final trip from Port-au-Prince to Leogane today after picking up the team, God continued to renew me. During that drive I realized how immune I had become to it all. Instantly my heart went back to the very first time I had traveled that road back in December. The children begging for money walking around barefoot in tattered clothing, the piles of trash burning on the side of the road, the crumbled homes sitting abandoned, the thousands of tarps standing as homes.... On and on the things that originally served to break my heart for these people began to tear at my heart all over again. It was all I could do to hold back the tears.
Once I got back to the compound, I just needed some time alone with God to repent of how selfish I've been lately. And once again, he pointed me to the most fitting passage:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinner will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:10-17
And that's exactly where I stand before the Lord right now. Broken. Utterly, and completely broken. Rebroken for these people. Broken over my selfishness. And broken over the little time I have left to truly serve Him and the Haitian people with all my might and to complete the good work he has placed before me.
For those of you who have been so faithful to follow all that God is doing on this trip, I just ask one last thing of you: Please pray diligently for me this week. Pray that my heart be guarded against selfish thoughts of returning home. Pray that my heart remain humbled and in pieces before the Lord and for these people. Words can't express how thankful I am for my many prayer warriors.

How Do They Dream?

I've visited the same orphanage multiple times, and yet every time holds a different experience. The ratio between children and workers are mind boggling. There just simply aren't enough to supply for the physical needs while still managing to supply for their emotional and spiritual needs. This is evident in the way the children fight for our attention and nearly trample us longing to gain the spot in our laps. They simply want to be loved.
As we were driving back to the compound after attending the Sunday night service there at the orphanage, Roody Joseph (the missionary here) told me of how he had a moment of brokenness tonight, and his words really touched my heart. He said he sat there asking God, "Do these kids even dream?" He referred to them as similar to prisons, stuck within the walls of the orphanage with little to no knowledge of the outside world. They grow up there until age 20, learning no trade or life experience, and then are released to the outside world without a clue of what to do. When speaking with some of the older girls there yesterday, asking what their plans were when they left the orphanage, and they each answered that they didn't know.
One of the things Roody said that moved me the most and really put things into perspective was, "How can they dream about the ocean if they've never seen it." And it made me think, what could they dream about other than what they've seen? I can dream big dreams because I've seen the world, or have access to the internet to see the things I wish to see. But these kids see who and what are within four walls. What could their dreams consist of?
Like Roody said, the only comfort I can cling to for these kids is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
He has a plan for each of those kids that He will iron out in his timing. And that's the only thing I can rest in.

Dreams Really Do Come True!

Originally we were scheduled to visit a village in Darbon, but Roody woke up to a vision of a specific area. He wrestled with it for a bit and realized that the Lord was leading us to that area. And oh was He ever!

Meredith, our translator Remi, and I stopped first to talk with a lady and her family. Meredith presented the Gospel from creation to Christ. The woman then told us that her younger son (a believer) had a dream last night that we came and delivered this message and then another earthquake occurred. Immediately God recalled a scripture he revealed to me during my December trip:

But now He has promised, saying "Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven." Now this, "Yet once more," indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire.          -Hebrews 12:26-29

I then shared with her that I am most certainly no dream interpreter, but that I firmly believed that her son's dream was testimony that God has called us to share with her of the hope that she can find in Christ. That he promises to shake the earth once more, but that if she puts her faith in Christ Jesus, she can live without fear because she will spend eternity in the kingdom that cannot be shaken. She, along with her sister, then prayed to receive Christ!

After speaking with the other team members, they said that several people had also spoken of similar dreams in which they saw us coming to speak to them. Praise God for his sovereignty and for the many ways he is faithful to reveal himself.

Meredith, Remi, and I next stopped to speak with a lady on the street. However, God knows those whose hearts are ready, and brought two others who were passing by along to listen. The woman hardened her heart and refused to acknowledge her sin in that moment, claiming she was not a sinner because she had never murdered. However, a young girl who had happened along desired forgiveness from her sins and prayed to receive Christ.

Eventually, the first woman got up and left, but yet again God knew whose hearts were ready. A guy, Jeff, who had been listening as we spoke, began asking questions referring to religion. Like many, he is caught up in the "religion" rather than the relationship with Christ Jesus. He asked did religion say that you must accept Christ to be forgiven of sins. Meredith then shared Isaiah 44 with him about men's desire and longing for a God and emphasized that what we had come to share with him was not merely a religion, but that we came to share with him the one true God. He seemed very wise and was clearly searching. He said he was ready to accept Christ as his savior, but that he wanted to do so alone in his home. Many say this very thing, but I firmly believe that God is truly drawing him to himself.

What a great morning!

Visit to the Voodoo Priest

As many of you know and have prayed, the team and I were given the opportunity to go to the home/temple of a voodoo priest to share the Gospel with those around him. Let's just say, it didn't go as excpected. When we arrived, we discovered that he had left and would not be returning until later this evening. Very possibly, he vainly accepted the money we offered him for paint to cover the voodoo markings. However, as Roody Joseph, the missionary here stated, whether he realizes it or not, Christ has entered that home and that neighborhood. Roody firmly believes that whether the priest's transformation or promise to transform his temple were genuine, a church will stand in that place in due time.

Though Satan may have had a very small victory in that priest, the prayers of God's warriors all over were not in vain. Because of the contact with that voodoo priest yesterday, we were given the opportunity to return and evangalize the area. On that one street, where 5 voodoo temples stand, every single house and every single person we came in contact with were presented the gospel. With thanksgiving and praise to my Savior, I can happily tell you that we have several new brothers and sisters in Christ and many other seeds planted!

Towards the end of the time we spent there, our last stop was at the fifth voodoo priest's home. Roody, Lowry Beck, Meredith Benton, and I entered into Satan's fortress determined to boldy declare the message Christ sent us to deliver. The arrogance and conceit of Satan was evident in the priest as he attempted to make a mockery of us. At one point I caught him staring at me for quite some time. Though typically I'm no champion at staring competitions, I took it as opportunity to make him realize that I have no fear of the spirit inside of him. The power of Christ within me far overshadows the evil behind his eyes. We showed him and others around him the evangicube which they seemed to find humor in. They asked to keep it as we left. Though to them it may have been something to attempt to make a mockery of, I know that as Meredith said, "God will not let them defame his name." To their enjoyment, we let them keep the cube as they asked. The irony is, though they may have requested to keep it in mockery, the jokes on them. For there in the voodoo temple lies the Gospel. They may not see it that way now, but I pray that with every glance at that cube, the spirit of salvation and conviction fall on that place. What an incredible opportunity to plant to gospel in a voodoo temple for others to see!

Though the voodoo priest seemed to mock our attempts to share Christ, I am certain God is not finished with him. Saul made the biggest mockery of sinners, and just look at his transformation. His blood is sufficient, and His grace is enough. Praise God for such a wonderful opportunity!

Breaking Down and Getting a Blog

I have been so blessed to have so many people interested in what God is doing here in Haiti. It's becoming increasingly difficult sharing with every single person the magnitude of what is going on each day. I thought I would make it easier on myself and help others to stay caught up by posting blogs about the major things God is doing here in Haiti. I hope everyone enjoys reading about how great our God is. And once again, I want to thank everyone who is so faithfully interested and faithful to keep me in your prayers!